I've realized I've screwed up a lot recently. More than I care to admit. Do I regret the things I have done? Not one bit bc I had a hell of a time doing them
Should I have done any of it? Hell no but since when do I listen to ANYONE seriously.
I'm confused. I'm getting all the stuff out of my system that I've wanted to do forever but now there's just this empty hole instead.
I don't want to be alone forever. I don't want to be with my now ex, as much as I love him. I just want to be independent, do things my way, and be happy. But I'm not happy and I don't know why. A says its because I just go around do whatever with whoever and don't care. His solution is stop it all together and I'll be perfectly happy. I'M NOT HAPPY SO THAT WAS SHIT. I just don't know. I started to like this guy, but I realize he's still in love with his ex who fucks him over every single time they seem to be happy together again. Why can't he see that I'm here! He says he likes me, but then he's so hung up over her. It sucks! Because I do actually like him. He's got beautiful blue eyes and a nice body and yeah he's older but so what??
I care about him and I hate her for hurting him again. I wish I could tell her exactly what I want to say and chew her out but I can't.
So this just sucks!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Stupid bitch I want to hurt her and she's three states away. >.< She's lucky.
Poor Jay... why can't you see what she's doing to you...
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